Coping With Feline Immunodeficiency Virus

Jack first showed up at our house in April of 2007. He was a beautiful black and white male cat with the most loveable personality. I figured he would leave after a few scratches and treats since he was not “fixed.” However Jack (named Black Jack because of his colors) hung around. He got along well with our outdoor cats and just seemed to enjoy laying in the sun on the porch and eating like a pig. I quickly fell in love with Jack and decided to keep him.

A few days ago I noticed that Jack could not walk on one of his front legs. I watched him for a day or so and decided to make and appointment with our vet. I was going to have his leg patched up, get all of his shots and find out why he had chronic diarrhea. During the appt. the vet wanted to first check for FIV and FL. I didn’t think too much of it, until the test came back positive for FIV I was in total shock.

The vet gave me the choice of taking Jack home or putting him to sleep right then. I knew Jack was very sick and would only get worse, but my heart wanted to take him home. However, the vet was obviously impatient and stood there waiting for my decision. I knew putting Jack to sleep was what needed to be done. I signed the paperwork and was given no time to properly say goodbye. The vet was ready to go within a minute of me signing the paper. I tried to stay with Jack, but I just fell apart.

I feel so guilty for not standing firm and demanding time to properly say goodbye. I wish I had taken him somewhere else. I was by myself at the vet’s office so, there was no support. This has been the longest twelve hours and the most painful in quite a while.

It doesn’t help that I had to put one of my childhood cats to sleep on Father’s Day (only nine days ago). The only comfort is knowing that I gave Jack tons of love, attention and food. I also just found out that Jack had the symptoms of Stage 3 FIV or full blown cat AIDS.

The next step is having our three outside cats tested for FIV. I am already facing having to put to sleep my first cat in the very near future. Losing a loved pet is so increadibly painful, but the amazing love and companionship they give you is more than worth it. May God bless all of us and our precious pets.